No matter who it’s with, conflict is what builds our strength and connection, while avoidance damages it. 

In any relationship, be it with a partner or a friend, there is bound to be a time when one person hurts the other, often unintentionally. 

Last week we covered how to stay sane when traveling WITH your partner; this week we’re talking about what to do when you travel separately from your partner.

So what are we supposed to do when each partner is so diametrically different? What happens when our views on travel time or anything else are in conflict with our favorite person in the whole world? Chances are it’s a little bumpy. 

When we say I love you, but we chronically don’t listen…When we say we’ll do something - but don’t…Our actions are speaking for us, telling a story for us. I encourage all of us to listen to ourselves- What are your actions really saying? Pay attention to the things you’re doing that you’ll say you’ll do. Pay attention to what it is you’re really communicating.

I’ve been talking about this “Hell Yea” concept as a way to shift the energy within your relationship - and your life. But does it also apply to the bedroom? How? I work with a lot of couples where sex is an issue, but it is really about connection. Let’s explore:

I work with a lot of couples in which it seems the issue is football, but really it’s about connection. He loves football and it’s his way of belonging to something bigger. She hates football and finds it a waste of time. He spends all Saturday watching the game with his friends, excited to…

There’s nothing more painful than fighting with your favorite people in the world, partner and kids. When you get in a fight with your kids, it doesn’t carry on for weeks. But when we fight with our significant others the hurt and pain can and often does last weeks. And with each passing day, the silent distance grows, and with it grows the pain.

It seems like everyone either knows someone who’s been laid off recently, or they’ve experienced it themselves. And if you didn’t personally experience a layoff, you are likely affected in other ways by the overall stressful wave of layoffs.

“Why would you say that?”

“Why are you being such a @#$%!?”

“Why do you always do that?”

If you didn’t guess, those are examples of what NOT to say to your partner. 🤪

Ever feel like you’re doing more than your partner? Taking on more of the workload in your relationship? If so, you’re not alone.

Just like you might have weekly meetings with your manager or various team members at your workplace to create more efficiency and communication, it’s just as important to make time for a weekly check in with your partner.

If you caught my blog post a couple of weeks ago, you’ll remember the analogy I proposed around the tide changes within our relationships. Sometimes, the tide is in and we feel close, sometimes it’s out and we feel more distant.

The tide comes in. The tide goes out. You inhale. You exhale. The sun rises. The sun sets. Expansion. Contraction. Relationships also have a rhythm.

Her response was to take better care of herself, so she didn’t miss out on the fun. But she still mused over the fact that if he took better care of himself, they’d have less conflict in their marriage.

We’ve been told that self-care helps you feel better, but have you heard that self-care makes you sexier?  

Instead of getting on the defensive side, get curious about what your feelings triggered for them - without getting triggered yourself. 

Ever get frustrated with your partner? 

Maybe they haven’t acknowledged that you are the only one who ever does the food shopping - and so you feel under-appreciated. 

So while I know that pain is necessary and we can’t really avoid that part of it, we can learn to communicate better, which will help ease the pain - or at least not prolong it. 

Boredom. It’s an uncomfortable feeling that most people try to resist or distract themselves from feeling. But what if boredom was actually an opportunity to lean in and get curious?