Investing in your partner

 

I was in session recently with one of my people, a CEO of a tech startup that’s on the verge of something really big. He was telling me about the process of going for a second round of funding: getting passed up by the first group he approached, and then having brand new investors come in and light up about him. They were asking thoughtful questions, wanting to know how he leads, where he comes from, what he values, and what his life looks like outside of work.

He said it felt incredible. Not just because of the competing offers. But because he felt seen.

After five years of nonstop giving, leading, building, solving problems, and pouring energy into his team, he finally got to receive. He referenced a previous newsletter in which I wrote about the dangers of always exhaling without taking a breath in. This moment felt like a long-awaited inhale—a rush of energy, attention, and possibility.

And it got me thinking: this is the same energy that draws people into affairs.

At home, things might be “fine.” Maybe a little boring. Maybe you’re operating on parallel tracks, managing kids or careers, touching base more often than you touch each other. You might still have sex occasionally. But the attention? The excitement? The feeling of someone looking at you like you're on the verge of something incredible?

 

That’s what’s missing.

Because who doesn’t want to be desired? To be asked meaningful, curious, intelligent questions? To be seen as a superstar?

What would change in your relationship if you started treating your partner the way an investor treats a visionary founder? If you looked at them and thought, “This person is on the verge of something really big, and I want to be part of it.”

What would it feel like to receive that kind of energy in return?

Maybe tonight, try it.

Look at your partner like they’re on the edge of something extraordinary.
Ask a thoughtful question. Offer real attention.
Make a small investment.

It just might pay off in the biggest way.

 
 

Ready to shift the dynamic in your relationship?

Start here👇🏼

 
Andrea Dindinger