Sometimes, I’d just want him to listen to me and witness the struggle. Other times, I wanted to brainstorm ideas with him and have him help problem solve.

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It’s important to remember that everyone has their own way of grieving, and the grieving process can be long. Unlike our short attention spans would like it to be, when you’re in a state of grief, you can’t just move on to the next thing. 

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There’s something magical that happens when you carve out that time alone without your children. You’re not only teaching your kids that they can get their needs met by other people but also that they are not the center of your universe.

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In our world of instant gratification, there is real wisdom in actively slowing down when life gets complex, tricky, or upsetting. Discussing issues when you are triggered is never a productive practice.

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It is inevitable that you will get frustrated, angry, and even rageful with your spouse at some point in your relationship. Anger is tricky because the brain releases dopamine when you get angry, and the dopamine rush can easily become addictive. 

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It was clear that resentment was building on both sides, with each partner feeling like they were doing so much yet not being acknowledged for it. 

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The happiest couples I know are the ones who make an effort to keep the romance alive. In other words, they put deposits into the relationship account when life so often takes withdrawals.

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Marriages have seasons. If you've been in winter for many years and have created an iceberg, do not underestimate the power of the sun to help melt the ice and bring the connection back into your marriage.

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While so much of my coaching and writing revolves around relationships and how to make the most of your communication and connection, it’s also important to acknowledge that a huge part of relationships is the one with yourself. 

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